“I’m bored. What can I do? I’m soooooooo booorrrrrreeeed.”
I have distinct memories of whining this very sentence to my parents for many years of my childhood. The response was usually along the lines of “go play outside” or “go read a book” or “go ride a bike” or, the ‘ole standby classic “YOU figure out something to do.”
However, something is different when my children whine this at me these days, and the reason is: technology.
Because of the options that are available to them versus the options available to me 30 years ago. With technology, there exists a solution that allows them to almost never be bored. Endless entertainment at their fingertips.
As a parent, this is always a struggle to navigate. It is much easier to say no to an option that doesn’t exist, than one that is right there, a rectangle of pixels, blinking merrily.
When Aiden was a toddler and just learning his shapes, he had a puzzle that looked much like this graphic:
Only, he got one of the shapes wrong every time. It was SQUARE, CIRCLE, TRIANGLE, OVAL, PHONE, HEART.
Clearly, my attachment to my own personal rectangle had been noticed by my toddler. Also, the rectangle played him fun, soothing songs when he was screaming in the car or squirmy on an airplane. The rectangle, clearly, was important.
I can’t tell you how many times the boys have complained that they are bored, only to have me reply, “It’s good to be bored.”
But I don’t think they realize quite how serious I am. It is good to be bored. In fact, it’s incredibly important. And not just for their juvenile developing brains (although especially so), but also for us, as adults.
Look, I’m not here to judge how much screen time you allow yourself, or your children. No two children are the same, no two families have the same dynamic, and we absolutely cannot overlook the fact that not everyone operates at the same level of necessity. The pandemic is a perfect example. Did our kids get more screen time than recommended? Heck yes, but we were all trying to navigate an impossible situation and the benefits far outweighed the negative. And even if they didn’t, we were all just trying to survive and didn’t have the luxury to closely examine our family relationship with electronics.
I’m just saying, if you can, consider the importance of being bored.
The struggle is real – if I let my children have unlimited technology I get free time without interruption. They don’t make messes of crafts or Pokémon cards or cardboard box forts (that they rarely clean up). They don’t need me every five seconds. They don’t complain that they’re bored. They are quiet. They don’t fight. Realistically, they might not even come out of their rooms, except for a snack.
But also they are not doing these things: using their imaginations, practicing critical thinking, digging in the dirt, jumping through sprinklers, climbing trees, creating artwork, building social skills, learning about spatial relations, managing their thoughts without external stimuli, and so much more.
Being bored is preparation for life.”
Quoted from this article – worth the 5 minute read.
They may think I’m being the mean mom when I restrict their screen time or tell them to “figure it out” when they’re bored, but I’m really not. They can’t see it yet but hopefully one day, they’ll understand.
