• Uncategorized

    How to travel with big furniture and tiny cars

    May 19, 2012 - By 

    Today on the freeway I passed a mustang convertible, top down, with about 6 patio chairs crammed in the backseat at odd angles. The driver who, for some reason in all his 50+ years of living did not have a better solution, must’ve figured that his wife holding on to the legs of one of the chairs counted adequately in place of a tie-down strap. I will say that one thing I’ve taken for granted since meeting Chris is the convenience of a pickup truck. Between him and his friends, there is always someone with some way to move lots…

  • Uncategorized

    O Californians, how you drive… me insane

    April 14, 2012 - By 

    An Open Letter to my west coast friends on the open road: ** Side note: the fact that I just signed up for my online defensive driving course to defer a speeding ticket has absolutely NO BEARING whatsoever on this letter.** EDIT: Actually, it does have some bearing – in my favor. Below is an excerpt from my class: Driving slowly in the left lane: If you are in the left lane and someone wants to pass, move over and let them by. You may be “in the right” because you are traveling at the speed limit, but you may…

  • RemoteDance

    Cruise Tip #2: rednecks like big fishes

    March 28, 2012 - By 

    For their birthday this year, Frick and Frack (that’s my husband and his twin, in case you were having trouble following there) got to go on a fishing boat in Cabo with their friends Sleepy E, Wobbie, and Vegas. It was Sleepy E’s idea (shout out to him and the lady), and it totally rocked. It wasn’t supposed to be a whale-watching tour, but they got to see THIS: And then, to top it all off, Chris caught a 160# Striped Marlin. Well, it was really a collective effort, but Chris happened to be the one holding the reel at…

  • RemoteDance

    Cruise Tip #1: Bring your own mustaches

    March 26, 2012 - By 

    Oh yes that’s right. I said mustaches. You see, the thing about cruises is that there’s a lot of time at sea. And, aside from stuffing your face at the breakfast buffet, the 24-hour grill/pizzeria, the lunch buffet, the dinner seating, and the late-night buffet, the only other thing to do is drink, gamble, lay by the pool, visit the spa, or some combination of any of those. (There’s also a fitness center, but who wants to go to THAT on vacation?!) So our ingenious friends Sleepy E and Mrs. Sleepy (you may remember them from Prank of the Century…

  • Marriage - RemoteDance

    3 Years

    March 14, 2012 - By 

    The husband and I were at the grocery store yesterday, picking out our dinner for the night. Chris suggested that we also get dinner for the following night. “Unless you would rather go eat at a nice restaurant tomorrow?” I looked at him. We didn’t usually eat out on weekdays. “Why would we do that?” He looked back at me. “Because it’s our anniversary.” Oh, um, oops. It’s not that I forgot about our anniversary. I just had been so focused on the fact that our cruise vacation was the big birthday/anniversary celebration, it slipped my mind that the actual…

  • RemoteDance

    As if I’d ever get a Lamborghini

    February 23, 2012 - By 

    The Husband and I are preparing to take a cruise for our anniversary this year. Since I have an irrational fear of being completely disconnected from work, I was reading through the shipboard internet options to see how feasible it is to periodically check my work emails during our vacation. I came across this polite-but-snarky blurb that demonstrates the cruise line’s obvious frustration with people who complain about dumb things. It’s like if someone were to gift you an expensive Lamborghini and the first thing you do is look at at and go, “Oh.. hmmm… gray? I would’ve preferred it…

  • RemoteDance

    Date Shakes

    February 16, 2012 - By 

    There’s a lonely stretch of Interstate 8 that runs through the desert, about halfway between Yuma and Phoenix, that boasts a place called “Dateland.” Along the freeway is a giant sign advertising their world-famous date shakes. We always drive on by, of course that’s usually because it’s too late or too early in the day to be interested in a milkshake. Only not today. I happened to be driving by Dateland around lunch, so it seemed perfect to stop for a sandwich and a date shake. I had never had a date shake, and they sounded intriguing. World-famous, even. So…

  • RemoteDance

    Worst. Dentist. Appointment. Ever.

    January 20, 2012 - By 

    I don’t really mind going to the dentist. Usually. Heck, sometimes I even blog about it. Some people are just lucky and their teeth are naturally awesome. And some people brush and floss religiously and still have tons of cavities. I am one of the former. I have never had a cavity. In fact, one of my former dentists once told me I had “super teeth” and that I could probably get away with only a dental visit once a year, instead of every 6 months. If we’re being honest, I’m not the best flosser in the world. I mean,…

  • RemoteDance

    School Pride

    January 14, 2012 - By 

    Seeing as how the husband’s family always sends us gear promoting the University of Iowa, it seemed only fair that my family send us gear promoting Kansas State. And my parents did just that for Christmas. Afterwards, the husband and I had the following conversation. THB: I like my new K-State sweatshirt, but I think it’s funny that they picked the camouflage one. What, do I scream redneck? ME: I wouldn’t say so much ‘scream’ redneck but you definitely ‘announce loudly.’