• RemoteDance - Throwback

    Where the Buffalo Roam…

    December 10, 2010 - By 

    This is an article that was published in our campus newspaper when I was attending college there.  It was so hilarious, I laminated it and posted it to the wall of my dorm room, along with pictures of my family, a $1 tax refund check from the State of Michigan, and my class schedule. Because, you know, you *might* see a 500 pound bison roaming the campus.  But don’t worry, eventually campus officials will outsmart the very large, slow-moving animal.  Darn those bison and their excellent hiding skills.

  • RemoteDance

    Planes, Plumbers, and Automobiles

    December 9, 2010 - By 

    I know I’ve been kind of lackadaisical on the blog lately. It’s not that things aren’t exciting around these parts… I mean, Chris met the governor and we found out why our water bill was so high that the lady at Public Works almost fell out of her chair when she saw the bill and we hung Christmas lights and shorted out Christmas lights and bathed the dog a lot because for some reason she is extra smelly right now. Also, I bought an outfit to wear to the company Christmas party and the cat peed on the white carpet…

  • RemoteDance

    Stage Fright, of a Sort

    December 6, 2010 - By 

    Between Phoenix and San Diego, there are two border patrol checkpoints.  For some inexplicable reason, I get nervous every time I drive through them.  I don’t know why.  I’m not doing anything illegal.  I don’t look suspicious.  They don’t have any reason to pull me over and, if they did, they wouldn’t find anything anyway.  Sometimes they just wave you through and sometimes they ask a few simple questions.  They are usually along the lines of “are you a US citizen?” and “where are you headed to?” I’m pretty good at the first one.  And given the frequency that I travel through these checkpoints headed to the…

  • RemoteDance

    Things That Drive Me Crazy

    November 7, 2010 - By 

    Everybody has their pet peeves.  For some people, it’s important things, like “people who don’t tip” or “people who chew loudly” or “people who don’t use their turn signals when they specifically know you’re trying to follow them to an unknown destination.”  Oh, wait, that last one’s definitely one of mine. But I also have one really weird pet peeve.  It’s the stupidest thing ever, and yet it bothers me.  A lot. I hate it when people use the microwave, stop it before the timer is done, and then they DON’T HIT THE BUTTON TO CLEAR THE DISPLAY. What if…

  • RemoteDance

    Be Careful What you Wish For

    November 5, 2010 - By 

    I was sitting at my desk the other day, when one of my colleagues stopped by and said he had brought me something. He then set an object down on my desk that vaguely resembled a collection of small dog poops, saran-wrapped and vacuum sealed. I eyed it with a mixture of fear, confusion, and disgust. “What is it?” “It’s elk jerky.” The disgust faded, but the confusion remained. “Elk jerky?” “Yes, remember when I went elk hunting last season, and you asked me to bring you some elk jerky, but I forgot?  Well, here’s your elk jerky.” There was a short…

  • RemoteDance

    Come Fly with Me

    October 27, 2010 - By 

    Well, technically, I should say come fly with me and my husband, since we’d need him to actually pilot the plane. Maybe now you’re thinking: OMG you have a PLANE! That is so totally awesome. You must be like, rich, or something! OMG a PLANE! And while I absolutely love our plane and am very thankful to have it in our lives… I must mention a few things first. It is not a fancy corporate jet, in fact, it is not a jet at all. It is a single-engine prop plane. It travels at about 130 knots on average. (1…

  • RemoteDance

    Four Favorites Friday

    October 22, 2010 - By 

    In no particular order, here are my four favorites of the day: Favorite customer services rep: The lady at the speedy checkout line at Wal-Mart who actually knew the definition of the word “speedy.” AND she was super nice. Favorite commercial: The Snickers “Grocery Store Lady” Halloween ad Favorite new artist: The Maine Favorite pet moment: When I feed the cat and she is so absolutely ecstatic about dinnertime that she is literally purring while she’s eating. And there you have it.

  • RemoteDance - Throwback

    The Great Banana Mystery

    October 16, 2010 - By 

    It first happened in 2003. I had just graduated college, picked up stakes and moved to Los Angeles to “live the dream.” (I never did make it as a Hollywood actress, but at a minimum, I guess you actually have to go to auditions). Anyway, on my fairly limited budget (did I mention that I did not have a job lined up when I moved?) I bought some groceries, including a small bunch of bananas. After putting away the groceries and making myself a light dinner, I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up and decided that a…

  • RemoteDance

    Throwback Thursday: Texas Learned Me a Few Things

    October 14, 2010 - By 

    EDIT, October 2020: Oh my, this one’s a gem. The original “throwback” story is from 2006, but I posted it in 2010. It’s a long one, and somewhat (okay, really) embarrassing, but worth sticking with it to the end. As you’re reading it, I do want you to keep a few things in mind: The iPhone did not exist. Smartphones as we know them did not exist. I believe I owned a Motorola Razr at the time, and had just gotten my first (black and white text screen) Blackberry. Live TV on airplanes did not exist, and in-air WiFi definitely…

  • RemoteDance

    Weirder than leaving my keys in the fridge

    October 10, 2010 - By 

    I do sometimes make fun of my husband in this blog. But I try to keep it a little bit balanced, like when I told about how I leave my keys in the fridge…. intentionally. Since I figure I am a bit overdue for some self-ridicule, I thought to share this story. The other day, I stopped by the house on my lunch break. Since I work about 5 minutes from where I live, this is easily accomplished within my allotted break time. I made myself a sandwich, then sat down on the couch to enjoy my lunch. I had…