Five things I never thought I’d like, but now I LOVE National Public Radio (NPR) Hummus The Kindle (love love love!) Red Wine Aluminum Water Bottles Five things I thought I’d love forever, but now – not so much Tie-Dye Shirts Cassette Tapes Nancy Drew Mysteries Vanilla Frosting Super Nintendo
Chris and I were at the house last weekend when the doorbell rang. It was the meter-reader. He wanted to let us know that our water use for the past month was very high. Which was very considerate of him, although a few months too late. At that point we had just finished paying the plumber to fix the problem. Allow me to recap… As you may remember, last March we bought a house. Well last June, our water bill suddenly skyrocketed. We wrote that month off as the start of summer weather and waited to see the next bill.…
You guys have met my cat right? Let’s just say she’s an indoor cat who doesn’t possess very many “street smarts.” And she’s not much of a hunter, judging by her 25% success ratio with catching flies and moths. Also, she’s not very fast. Or motivated. Well we had some people over for a potluck/campfire/get-together type thing. The cat was around most of the evening, hiding behind the end table and generally looking pissed about all the people who had invaded her space, although she would sometimes disappear and I would find her wandering in the garage or eating out…
The week before thanksgiving, Chris, myself, and the roommate Payson decided to host a Thanksgiving dinner for everyone at work who was away from home or just wanted an excuse to hang out and eat. The original invite list was small – but quickly outgrew our original stash of supplies (we can’t forget to invite so-and-so!). Instead of one turkey we were going to need two, plus extra potatoes and more side dishes. We put Payson in charge of buying more potatoes. Would you like to guess how many potatoes he bought? Here’s a clue: it’s one month later, and…
I went to the mall today, and found myself surprised by the crowds. There were people directing traffic, there were police surveillance vans, and there were very long lines at the store registers. I don’t know why I was surprised at this – I mean, it’s just two short weeks from Christmas. Of course the mall is going to be a zoo. Well, actually, I do know why I was so surprised. It’s because sometimes I am phenomenally unobservant of the world around me. I find myself constantly surprised about very predictable events: holiday shoppers and rush hour traffic and…
This is an article that was published in our campus newspaper when I was attending college there. It was so hilarious, I laminated it and posted it to the wall of my dorm room, along with pictures of my family, a $1 tax refund check from the State of Michigan, and my class schedule. Because, you know, you *might* see a 500 pound bison roaming the campus. But don’t worry, eventually campus officials will outsmart the very large, slow-moving animal. Darn those bison and their excellent hiding skills.
I know I’ve been kind of lackadaisical on the blog lately. It’s not that things aren’t exciting around these parts… I mean, Chris met the governor and we found out why our water bill was so high that the lady at Public Works almost fell out of her chair when she saw the bill and we hung Christmas lights and shorted out Christmas lights and bathed the dog a lot because for some reason she is extra smelly right now. Also, I bought an outfit to wear to the company Christmas party and the cat peed on the white carpet…
Between Phoenix and San Diego, there are two border patrol checkpoints. For some inexplicable reason, I get nervous every time I drive through them. I don’t know why. I’m not doing anything illegal. I don’t look suspicious. They don’t have any reason to pull me over and, if they did, they wouldn’t find anything anyway. Sometimes they just wave you through and sometimes they ask a few simple questions. They are usually along the lines of “are you a US citizen?” and “where are you headed to?” I’m pretty good at the first one. And given the frequency that I travel through these checkpoints headed to the…
Everybody has their pet peeves. For some people, it’s important things, like “people who don’t tip” or “people who chew loudly” or “people who don’t use their turn signals when they specifically know you’re trying to follow them to an unknown destination.” Oh, wait, that last one’s definitely one of mine. But I also have one really weird pet peeve. It’s the stupidest thing ever, and yet it bothers me. A lot. I hate it when people use the microwave, stop it before the timer is done, and then they DON’T HIT THE BUTTON TO CLEAR THE DISPLAY. What if…
I was sitting at my desk the other day, when one of my colleagues stopped by and said he had brought me something. He then set an object down on my desk that vaguely resembled a collection of small dog poops, saran-wrapped and vacuum sealed. I eyed it with a mixture of fear, confusion, and disgust. “What is it?” “It’s elk jerky.” The disgust faded, but the confusion remained. “Elk jerky?” “Yes, remember when I went elk hunting last season, and you asked me to bring you some elk jerky, but I forgot? Well, here’s your elk jerky.” There was a short…