I bet you don’t get to work with a zebra. Okay, okay, I don’t actually work with a zebra.  But I do get to see a zebra while I’m at work.  Actually make that two zebras: Although I should really say it’s two zebras, a couple of ponies, half a dozen horses, one mule and a llama.  Oh, yeah, and a camel.  This is what happens when you live too close to Los Angeles.

The Husband and I had the following conversation. THB: So I just got caught up reading all your blogs.ME: Cool.THB: But I don’t understand what the picture of me and my brother at Disneyland has to do with anything.ME: It was to show off your twin-ness.THB: I think it was just to make fun of us.ME: Technically, it was only making fun of Frick. He was the one wearing the pink shirt.THB: Yes, and I’m sure Frick really appreciates you pointing that out.ME: Frick doesn’t read my blog.THB: I wouldn’t be so sure about that.ME: Well, I could put an…

I hate grocery shopping. If I were to make a list of chores that I dislike doing, (in order of most to least) it would be: Putting Away the Laundry Grocery Shopping Cleaning the Toilet Oh and “Picking Up Dog Poo” is probably on there somewhere. Yes, it’s true. I would rather scrub the toilet than put away the laundry. My husband’s socks, especially. Because there are so many of them and they are all white tube socks but some of them have gray letters on them and some of them have a blue Nike swoosh on them and some…

Maybe I was a little hasty about the whole TV-for-a-Couch deal being a win-win situation. You see, I neglected to take into account one thing: football season. Apparently there is a magical combination of Big TV + High Definition + Male Roommates + Football = Let’s watch football ALL THE TIME. The sound system didn’t help with the situation, either. Or, Chris has been deceiving me our whole courtship and he’s much more into football than he’s previously led me to believe. This past Sunday was the Arizona Cardinals – Green Bay Packers game. Chris is a Cardinals fan. Canuk…

So let’s recap the rundown of my favorite inanimate things in life. Chocolate Hot Showers Pizza Also, anything made with chocolate. Namely, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake, chocolate brownies, and… aww, hell, let’s just say anything made with sugar fits the bill just fine. The problem with chocolate is that it doesn’t quite fit in my diet. (Ya, I know, real surprise). And for some reason this past weekend I was having big-time chocolate withdrawal. So what did I do? Stalked that chocolate like TMZ on Angelina Jolie. I went to all its favorite haunts: The grocery store, the pharmacy,…

Back when Chris and I were in the market for a second car, I spent some time perusing the Craigslist ads. Chris said the criteria were “cheap” and “reliable” so I put together a list of a few cars we might like. OPTION #1: CHEVROLET CAMERO, MODEL YEAR 1991 Selling Points: It could secretly be a transforming alien robot Blue OPTION #2: DODGE NEON, MODEL YEAR 1996 Selling points: Cheap and reliable… ? OPTION #3: AUDI QUATTRO, MODEL YEAR 1996, THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT STOLEN Now, this last option didn’t quite fit the “cheap” or the “reliable” category. But…

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words. Ellen DeGeneres Before the wedding, I worked really hard at the whole eating-right (mostly) thing and the going to the gym (mostly) thing, and I lost ten pounds. Well,…

I was sitting in the office today when one of my co-workers came out of the break room. “Krista,” she asked, “are those your keys in the refrigerator?” “Yes.” There was a moment of silence while everyone in the office paused to find out exactly why my keys were in the fridge. No one suspected that I had intentionally put my keys in there. They were confused. “Do they work better when they’re cold?” someone asked. I really hadn’t been planning on elaborating, but they all seemed to expect an answer. I shrugged. “I have half a sandwich in the…

So I have this clock. And it’s not just any clock. It’s a talking alarm clock… from the 80’s. You see, sometime in the mid-eighties my father got this alarm clock for free. That’s right, FOR FREE. It was either a promotional deal for his business or he won it in a raffle or something (hey, I was, like, seven when he told me the story.) So he gave the clock to me, his cherished and beloved daughter. It’s one of those early memories that you shouldn’t really remember, but for some reason it sticks with you throughout the years. …

My husband has a twin brother, we call him Frick. Together, they are Frick and Frack. I have heard stories about what they were like as children.  I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say the phrase “double trouble” doesn’t even begin to describe it. Anyway, Frack’s brother Frick (he’s the one in the pink shirt… ahh hahaha) had a baby with his lady, Yvonne, on the 31st.  (Yvonne is not her real name.  I don’t think people are even named Yvonne anymore.) Frick was also in the process of completing a home renovation.  With a pregnant Yvonne.  It…