Cupcakes and Confessions

I made cupcakes using a generic store-bought mix and frosting out of a can.  Instead of making them from scratch using one of the many Pinterest recipes I’ve saved.

And something else:
They were pretty darn tasty.

This is not because I have excellent culinary skills. I mean, I’d like to think that they’re halfway decent these days, but that’s not why the cupcakes were tasty. I’m going to guess it had more to do with these three things:

1. Sugar
2. Oil (aka FAT mmmmm)
3. Years of product testing and research

Okay, so yeah I’m sure my $1.99 cake mix is loaded with preservatives and food dyes and all manner of emulsifiers and chemicals. But we’re not eating cupcakes on the regular so a little treat is just fine.

Also: EASY.

It’s worth repeating: EASY.

I didn’t have to buy a million ingredients that I’ll have leftovers of for months (or years — you should have seen my pantry when we cleaned it out). I didn’t end up with flour all over the counter and powdered sugar all over the mixer and fifteen million different dirty dishes to wash.

(Does it count that we used locally-sourced farm-fresh eggs? That’s got to negate at least a few of the Red Dye #40 and High Maltose Corn Syrup.)

And let’s just pause for a moment to discuss what it took to purchase these items.  I want to be frank, here.  Life is beautiful and wonderful and filled with so many fantastic moments that we want to share online.  But I think it’s equally important to share the not-so-fantastic ones.  Because life is both good and bad.  It’s not all wine and roses.  Or in my case, wine and cupcakes.

Soooo… It took all my worldly patience dragging a 2 year old and a 4 year old through the grocery store, deciding they could push their own cart, and then letting them browse the aisle with all the candies and chocolate chips and yet not letting them select everything they laid eyes upon.

The oldest may have thrown himself on the floor in a fit of a epic proportions that I haven’t seen in almost two years, crying his heart out because I said his brother could carry the box of cake mix and that they weren’t both capable of pushing the cart at the same time. (They weren’t. We tried that first).

I may have been standing in the middle of the grocery store with two bottles of wine tucked under my arm feeling exceptionally embarrassed. Yet refusing to put the wine back because #necessary. And not being able to hide the wine in the cart, because the cart was currently being pushed by a preschooler and it seemed somehow inappropriate for him to be in charge of the alcohol.

And all because I wanted to find a “treat” and a “fun activity” so I could have some “bonding time” later this afternoon with my two small children.

HAHAHA joke’s on me.

Oh and let’s not forget, when I finally managed to convince the 4 year old that his brother could carry the box of cake mix while said 4 year old got to push the cart with ALL THE OTHER INGREDIENTS, we had to walk by a display of fidget spinners.

I don’t know how this little dude even knows what a fidget spinner is, but when he saw one in the display aisle he sure as heck wanted one IMMEDIATELY and also he knew it would glow in the dark despite the fact that he can’t even read the packaging yet.

Cue epic fit #2.

I looked at the lady in the checkout behind me, as they were ringing up my wine, and said, “now you know why I need this.”

Thankfully she laughed and if she was silently judging me I couldn’t tell.

And later, I got cupcakes and wine.