The sad part is that they have this disclaimer at all.  Because you know it’s only there after someone actually WALKED INTO THAT WINDOW.

Maybe other people have this problem. I can’t be the only one. But every time I go to the airport, the number of gray plastic bins that I have to push through the security checkpoint is borderline ridiculous. Let’s do a little exercise, called “How Many Bins Does it Take To Get Through Security.” Bin #1: jacket, shoesBin #2: purse, cell phone, beltBin #3: plastic bag of liquids, whatever item of permissible food-stuffs that I am carryingBin #4: laptop And then, of course, there are the non-bin items, such as my laptop case and carry-on suitcase. I have, on occasion,…

This is a picture of our new backyard, taken last weekend.Choose your favorite caption from the selection below, or create your own and leave it in the comments section: “OMG, the pigeons are mutating! Look at the size of those things!” “Thanksgiving’s come early this year… Cletus, get yer shotgun!” Actually… the birds in question are actually neither pigeons or turkeys — they are peafowl. As you may recall, we recently bought a house. Our new neighbors have about a dozen peacocks/peahens that they let roam around the neighborhood. Which seemed really cool, at first. Until we found out they could…

Dressing up as an Elvis impersonator for a Las Vegas wedding… inappropriate or funny??? We had some good friends get married at the MGM in Las Vegas last weekend.  After a few cocktails at the bar on the night before the wedding, my husband and his twin brother thought it might be hilarious to rent Elvis costumes to attend the wedding.  The next morning, however, we had our doubts.  What seemed like a good idea at midnight on a Friday does not always wash in the light of day.  Plus, it is – ahem – the bride’s day.  Two Elvis’s might…

A little story of two companies, one chair, and a clerical error… The company that I work for has a lot of temporary project sites, for which we establish mobile offices. We often furnish our mobile offices with rented furniture. This past month, we closed up one of our mobile offices, and called the furniture rental company to come pick up their desks and chairs.  Well, when they came to pick up the rented chairs, they had a surprise in store: an extra chair.  A few days later my boss received the following message: “During our scheduled pickup, we retreived 5…

The Cat (Maia) is the undisputed Queen Animal of the household.  She is the sweetest, most loving, devoted cat you will ever find.  Unless she is in one of her Moods.  Then she becomes a Queen B#@%.  This side of her also comes out when she has to co-exist with other animals. The vet once told me, “Your cat is highly susceptible to stress.  She should probably be in a single-animal household.”  Too bad for her, I thought, she’s gonna have to learn to deal.  All things considered, she’s learned to deal fairly well.  As long as she can bully the dog…

If anyone wants to know, they do not sell alarm clocks at Macy’s.  In case you are in there with a gift certificate to buy a shawl for an outfit and you don’t want to stop at another store to get a clock.  You will unfortunately be forced to spend your gift certificate money on other necessary items, like shoes or a new dress, or maybe some pretty wine glasses… A N Y W A Y.  We needed a new alarm clock because, as you may recall, the old one sounded like a turbo jet about to take off at any given…

Er, I mean, it’s Valentine’s Day.  (If you want to make sense of my obscure reference, click the link here on Roman History). Because I like having an excuse to dress up all pretty and have a candlelit dinner with my honey, Chris and I celebrated with a romantic Saturday night at one of our favorite local restaurants.  (Celebrating a day early because you know, the whole Monday-workday thing).  Our first choice was one of the valley’s most popular romantic dinner destinations, and this is what they told me when I called: ME: I know this is probably a silly question but,…

CHRIS:  We need a new vacuum.  This one sucks.  I mean, doesn’t suck, technically. ME: Can we get a purple one? CHRIS:  Can we get a purple one what? ME:  Vacuum. CHRIS:  Can we get a purple vacuum?  ME:  Yes, we were still talking about vacuums. CHRIS:  Why do you want a purple vacuum? ME:  Because purple is a pretty color. (Duh.) And this is when Chris rolls his eyes and says, “you are ridiculous” as if that answers my question on whether we can purchase a new vacuum in shade of purple, or not.