• RemoteDance

    Butterfingers

    October 17, 2009 - By 

    I have a tendency to drop small, expensive electronic items. A lot. Mostly cell phones. (I don’t think I’ve dropped the iPod yet, although I can’t say the same for my portable hard drive.) Have you ever known someone who insists on carrying around their old, outdated cell phone because it is “so indestructible”? And who then proceeds to prove that fact to all their friends by throwing it across a crowded bar, to bounce off a wall and land, unharmed and functional, on the floor? No? I can’t be the only one who knows someone like this. Well I…

  • RemoteDance

    The Couch Vortex

    October 6, 2009 - By 

    We love the New Couch. It is so big and cushy that once you sit down, the couch will suck you in to its Vortex of Comfort and you will never want to leave. Its true power, however, was best demonstrated this past weekend.  We had some friends over to watch football, and our one friend made the mistake of sitting smack dab in the center of the Vortex of Comfort. It, LITERALLY, took him five minutes to get out of the couch.  He had to struggle quite a bit to un-wedge himself from the corner and find his way back…

  • Uncategorized

    Happy Birthday to Me

    September 29, 2009 - By 

    Last week was my 29th birthday.  Or, as I kept telling my friends, “The first of many 29th birthdays to come.” There wasn’t a big to-do because, frankly, I just wanted to hang out at a nice restaurant with my friends.  I had a delicious Italian meal, topped off with Tiramisu for dessert.  I was actually too stuffed to eat more than a bite of the Tiramisu, so it was boxed up and we sent it home with our roommate to put in the fridge, since we were going out to the bar and she was going straight home.  The next morning…

  • Fun - RemoteDance

    Say What?!

    September 16, 2009 - By 

    Every so often, I overhear people say things that are unintentionally funny. Here’s a collection of great quotes from the last few months: “Aren’t they looking for you at the school?”-A customer, speaking to her young-looking waiter at the Olive Garden “You need to get rid of that Twilight Princess, yo. You’re playing ‘T’ for ‘Teen’ man.”-Relationship advice from one guy to another at the Home Depot “I wanted to get off on the right foot… I just had to decide which foot!”-A new acquaintance, on what type of first impression he wanted to make at a party “You can…

  • RemoteDance

    Loud Crashing Noise

    September 15, 2009 - By 

    On Friday the house shook. It was around 5:30 (5:48, to be exact) and suddenly I heard a loud crashing and/or rattling coming from upstairs. At first, I thought maybe a piece of furniture had fallen over. You know, because furniture randomly does that. But it was a better thought than the alternative – an intruder! The dog barked and turned in circles a couple of times before deciding there was no threat. I was not so convinced. I went upstairs, hesitantly searching the bedroom. No one in the closet, the bathroom, under the bed. Okay, coast clear in my…

  • RemoteDance

    Valdigooey

    September 4, 2009 - By 

    When I was in college, I paid my tuition by waiting tables. One of the restaurants I worked at was a fancy steakhouse. (This was mildly ironic, since I don’t eat steak.) Anyway, as my Employee of the Month prize – they based this on the number of sales you had in a month – I won a free bottle of red wine. This wine was the 2002 J. Lohr Vineyards “Wildflower” Valdiguié. (Oh my god. I just realized that was SIX YEARS ago.) So, anyway, six years ago I took that wine to a dinner party at my cousin’s…

  • RemoteDance

    Is That a Rooster, or…?

    September 3, 2009 - By 

    Los Angeles is suffering from a crisis. No, it’s not state’s largest fire since 1897, with a smoke cloud seen all the way from Vegas to Denver (seriously). It’s not the post-Michael-Jackson music industry, the increasing prevalence of gang activity, or the dead bodies and trash floating out in to the Pacific Ocean from the Los Angeles River. Nor is it the fact that taxpayers received IOU’s, the animal shelters are overcrowded, and Renee Zellweger was in a car crash. (read: minor fender bender with no injuries. Renee spotted for the first time since accident! The headlines screamed the next…

  • RemoteDance

    The History of NASCAR

    August 25, 2009 - By 

    During a recent car trip from Phoenix to L.A., I drove while Chris took a nap in the passenger seat. Since I was in command of the vehicle, this meant I had control of the iPod. I could force Chris to listen to NPR and various other “nerdy” podcasts while he was, essentially, trapped in our moving vehicle. I think this is partly why he fell asleep, because it was either slip into unconsciousness or jump out of the car a la 007 only to land in the middle of the desert next those signs that read, “State Prison. Do…

  • RemoteDance

    Early Bird I’m Not

    August 18, 2009 - By 

    I am not a morning person. This does not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, I’m sure. I just need a little “warm up” time, you know, like your car does on a cold day. I just want to idle a while, not having to say anything, do anything particularly difficult, listen to anything, or basically, have any human contact for the first twenty minutes or so after I wake up. Is that so much to ask? My husband persists (despite the fact that he knows better) on trying to talk to me when I first wake…

  • RemoteDance

    Not really the end of the world

    August 17, 2009 - By 

    Whenever I hear Chris say, “Honey, you are a very smart, intelligent woman… but every once in a while…” I know I probably should have thought through whatever I just said before I said it aloud. Like tonight. We were flipping through the television channels and came across that new Discovery show The Colony.  “What’s it about?” our roommate asked. “It’s a bunch of people who have to rebuild civilization after the end of the world and stuff.” We discuss the show for a few minutes more, while the lady onscreen spends a LOT of time making a punching bag out…