So I have this clock. And it’s not just any clock. It’s a talking alarm clock… from the 80’s. You see, sometime in the mid-eighties my father got this alarm clock for free. That’s right, FOR FREE. It was either a promotional deal for his business or he won it in a raffle or something (hey, I was, like, seven when he told me the story.) So he gave the clock to me, his cherished and beloved daughter.
It’s one of those early memories that you shouldn’t really remember, but for some reason it sticks with you throughout the years. I can still picture my dad standing in his home office of our house in Nebraska, reaching for a box on one of the wall shelves, and handing it to me as a spontaneous gift.
Now don’t forget, this was an era where computers only made beeping noises (and ran black-and-green DOS screens), cell phones were just coming into existence, and most people still had record players alongside their tape players. A talking clock? That was revolutionary. Not to mention JUST PLAIN AWESOME.
The clock, a Spartus model 1108 for those of you wanting to rush out and buy one (I hear they’re worth a whole $1 in the thrift store market these days), still works. In fact, I still use it. Let’s do a quick run-down of it’s completely awesome features:
Yeah, you know you want one. Other than a few sticky keys and some scratches, its held up remarkably well despite its age. But there is one tiny effect of being so old that I must mention. It’s loud. And I don’t mean the alarm, I mean the clock itself.
Imagine yourself laying in the dark, trying to ignore the blinding lights of the Hobby Lobby that was build in your backyard last year, looking for a peaceful night’s rest, when coming from your nightstand is… HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
Chris has put down a mandate. We need a new clock. One that isn’t louder than a freight train going past an demolition factory in a hailstorm. And while I agree that the clock needs to go… what do I do with it? I can’t possibly throw away the alarm clock that has been faithfully by my side for the past twenty-plus years!
Maybe the guest room?
