• RemoteDance

    Why, oh why, do you taunt me, food commercials?

    December 6, 2009 - By 

    So recently I joined a new gym. I am super excited because this gym is very clean and does not smell like dirty socks, like my last gym did. Also, I do not believe the homeless schizophrenic lady who dances at the corner of the AM-PM has a membership to this gym. Maybe you think I’m joking. No, there really is a homeless lady (at least, I think she is homeless since she spends 95% of her free time in front of the AM-PM) and she really is schizophrenic (it’s like listening to a one-sided telephone conversation, only the other…

  • RemoteDance

    Put Away Your Tinfoil!

    November 29, 2009 - By 

    People are silly. Hollywood makes a movie and suddenly, everyone believes that the world is going to end in 2012?  I mean, it’s all fine and good if you follow some sort of conspiracy theory based on Nostradamus’ predictions or Mayan calendars or even actual scientific fact… but don’t start jumping on the bandwagon because Hollywood tells you so!  I mean, c’mon, if everything Hollywood says is true, giant alien robots are secretly living amongst us, vampires are mostly-harmless tortured souls struggling against their evil nature while falling madly in love with teenage girls, and every bachelor party in Vegas ends up at…

  • RemoteDance

    Minor Details

    November 22, 2009 - By 

    I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the small, teeny-tiny, almost-inconsequential snafu in our Nascar plans.  No big deal, really…. The flight out of our rural airport near LA was a little hurried.  In the space of an hour, the sky had darkened significantly, and the wind was picking up.  If it got much windier, we wouldn’t be able to take off, so we hurried to get everything in order for flight.  We (or rather, Chris, I can’t really take credit) made a smooth takeoff and were on our way to Phoenix.  We had a decent tail wind so…

  • RemoteDance

    The NASCARs

    November 18, 2009 - By 

    My husband and I attended the NASCAR race last weekend. So at this Nascar race thing, a bunch of guys get in cars with lots of advertisements painted on them, and they drive around in a circle about 300 times. It’s the big draw, apparently. But it is not why I go to The Nascars. I go to The Nascars for the people-watching. My husband’s sister, his cousin, his best friend, and his sister’s two friends flew out from the Midwest to join us at The Nascars. Two of our other friends who lived locally, Sleepy and Orange County, also…

  • RemoteDance

    It’s Like Riding a Bicycle

    November 4, 2009 - By 

    A new study was published that shows there may be a genetic reason that some people are bad drivers.  This does not bode well for me.  (Love you mom). “Chris, there’s a new study out that says bad driving may be genetic.” “Oh, so there may be a reason you’re such a bad driver?” “Don’t be rude.  You just don’t understand my driving style.” “I understand your style all right.  Your style is ‘crappy.'” Personally, I don’t think I’m a bad driver.  But then again, who really thinks they are a bad driver?  It’s supposed to be one of those inherent skills, like breathing or…

  • Marriage - RemoteDance

    I’m not buying him a hearing aid…

    November 2, 2009 - By 

    …he did it to himself. When Chris first bought the surround sound, he tested it out.  I was one floor up on the opposite side of the house, in the closet, and I could still tell what movie he was watching. (I was putting away laundry, in case anyone was wondering why I was hanging out in the closet). Well, he now has decided he needs to show our roommates the awesome power of the surround sound.  Here I sit, minding my own business trolling the internet, when suddenly… I am transported to a front row seat at the world’s largest movie theater. …

  • RemoteDance

    Butterfingers

    October 17, 2009 - By 

    I have a tendency to drop small, expensive electronic items. A lot. Mostly cell phones. (I don’t think I’ve dropped the iPod yet, although I can’t say the same for my portable hard drive.) Have you ever known someone who insists on carrying around their old, outdated cell phone because it is “so indestructible”? And who then proceeds to prove that fact to all their friends by throwing it across a crowded bar, to bounce off a wall and land, unharmed and functional, on the floor? No? I can’t be the only one who knows someone like this. Well I…

  • RemoteDance

    The Couch Vortex

    October 6, 2009 - By 

    We love the New Couch. It is so big and cushy that once you sit down, the couch will suck you in to its Vortex of Comfort and you will never want to leave. Its true power, however, was best demonstrated this past weekend.  We had some friends over to watch football, and our one friend made the mistake of sitting smack dab in the center of the Vortex of Comfort. It, LITERALLY, took him five minutes to get out of the couch.  He had to struggle quite a bit to un-wedge himself from the corner and find his way back…

  • Uncategorized

    Happy Birthday to Me

    September 29, 2009 - By 

    Last week was my 29th birthday.  Or, as I kept telling my friends, “The first of many 29th birthdays to come.” There wasn’t a big to-do because, frankly, I just wanted to hang out at a nice restaurant with my friends.  I had a delicious Italian meal, topped off with Tiramisu for dessert.  I was actually too stuffed to eat more than a bite of the Tiramisu, so it was boxed up and we sent it home with our roommate to put in the fridge, since we were going out to the bar and she was going straight home.  The next morning…

  • Fun - RemoteDance

    Say What?!

    September 16, 2009 - By 

    Every so often, I overhear people say things that are unintentionally funny. Here’s a collection of great quotes from the last few months: “Aren’t they looking for you at the school?”-A customer, speaking to her young-looking waiter at the Olive Garden “You need to get rid of that Twilight Princess, yo. You’re playing ‘T’ for ‘Teen’ man.”-Relationship advice from one guy to another at the Home Depot “I wanted to get off on the right foot… I just had to decide which foot!”-A new acquaintance, on what type of first impression he wanted to make at a party “You can…